Disclaimer: I am not a qualified fitness trainer. I have not received any formal fitness training. This article is based solely on my personal experience.
In my previous article, I mentioned that I took up running back in 2016. I had very little past experience with running, or with any physical activity for that matter, but before I knew it, I had downloaded the C25K app, the Runkeeper App, bought myself a handy-dandy armband for my phone, and off I went.
What I didn’t mention was that I started running completely out of spite.
Remember break-up guy? He was a runner. Very shortly before the break-up, he had registered for the Vancouver Sun Run, and because I was embarrassingly attached to him, of course I wanted to tag along. I couldn’t run if my life had depended on it, but my plan was to power-walk. I bought myself what I thought was a cute “running outfit”, and proceeded to completely ruin his plan to run the 10 kilometer course. He had registered to run, and instead he ended up walking with me. Considering how things turned out just a short time afterwards, I don’t feel particularly guilty about this, I’m just stating the facts.
Then the break-up happened. I needed an outlet for the feelings that ensued besides drinking copious amounts of alcohol and crying, and somehow I got the idea that because this guy was a runner, perhaps I would feel some sort of closure if I ran as well. I also got it in my head that he thought I COULDN’T run. What he did or did not think at the time is completely unknown to me, but I latched onto this thought, and decided I was going to prove him wrong. I would show him. Sounds petulant, I know.
I downloaded the apps. I bought my armband. I downloaded a bitchin’ play list. Then, because I have social anxiety, and the thought of other people seeing me run just about sent my anxiety over the top, I waited until evening, and did my first run on the elementary school field.
I was hooked. Runner’s high is actually a thing, and even starting from the beginning, I felt it, and freaking loved it.
I did my second run on the same field. When I went for my third run, the school field was actually being used by a soccer team. By this time, I was determined to keep going with the training, and I had a choice… either skip my run that day, or get over my fears and try road running. It was a surprisingly easy choice to make, and my road-running began.
I noticed that when I started to feel sad, or anxious, or lost, I could go for my run, and come home feeling better. It had become a coping mechanism, an outlet, and essentially, a friend that had been available to me all along, I just hadn’t acknowledged it. I also noticed, after a few weeks, a happy side effect of my new fitness routine. I started to lose weight. I weighed 186 lbs before this leg of my journey began, and if memory serves, I had dropped about 15 lbs in just a couple of months. Losing weight had never been my intention, but it was nice to see, and a great motivator to keep going. I needed that motivation, because as with any training program, the sessions were getting increasingly difficult.
I adopted a comfortable routine where I would do a training session one day, then just walk the next. It gave my sore knees a break, and still allowed me to get out into the fresh air, just me, the road, and my tunes. When I walked, I would walk a full 10 kilometers. Somehow, 10k had become my magic number, and I didn’t want to do less. I was determined to be able to run the distance eventually.
There were some training sessions I had to repeat, because I couldn’t complete them the first time. I took this as an opportunity to persist, and grow, and even with being a perfectionist (I’m a Virgo… perfectionism is just part of the package), it became okay to not succeed the first time, so long as I didn’t give up. Life lesson.
My youngest daughter saw how much running was helping me physically and emotionally, and started coming with me, which was just about the coolest thing that could have come out of my journey. I started to register for races. My daughter and I registered for a 12k trail run in Kaslo (which happened to land on my birthday), and although we walked a majority of it, it gave us the opportunity to bond, get out in nature, and visit a community we otherwise wouldn’t have. Kaslo is beautiful, by the way!
Fast forward again, to October (just shy of 6 months since I’d started running). I had registered for a 10k race in Kelowna. I had no illusions of racing, I had yet to even reach my goal of running a full 10 kilometers without stopping for any walking breaks, I just wanted to see if I could actually finish it without collapsing.
I did it. No stops, no walking breaks. The sense of pride and accomplishment I felt was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I sometimes still get tears when I think of it.
This journey, which began out of spite, turned out to be one of the most valuable gifts I could have given myself. I learned to step outside of my comfort zone. I bonded with my youngest daughter in a way that otherwise wouldn’t have been possible. I learned to push through difficulties by being my own cheerleader (when you feel like you cannot take another step, you’d be amazed at how valuable reminding yourself that you CAN do this becomes). I learned to cope with uncomfortable emotions by venting them on the pavement. I learned to enjoy my own company. I learned to listen to my body, push when I needed to, pull back when it was feeling like too much, land softer, shoulders back, chin up, one foot in front of the other, keep going!
I learned that when life catches you off guard, honour your body, honour your spirit, keep faith in yourself. Whatever your challenges are, you’ve got it in you.
xoxo Nadine